FIC: All Quiet on the Human Front by [personal profile] doc_sock

  • Sep. 9th, 2009 at 8:30 PM
doc_sock: Doc Oc with all of this arms showing. (Default)
Title: All Quiet on the Human Front
Author: [personal profile] doc_sock/[livejournal.com profile] doc_socktopus
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Fandom: Burn Notice
Characters: Michael Westen, Sam Axe, Fiona Glenanne
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: none
Words: 350
Summary: Duct tape has its uses.
Notes: Written for this [livejournal.com profile] zombie_fest prompt.


If the zombie apocalypse is inevitable, make sure to stock up on canned food, bottled water, and zombie repellant. If you don't have access to commercial repellant, a mix of three parts corpse flower to one part water will work. If you can't get your hands on corpse flower, any rotting meat will do.

Michael walked down the street, whistling through cracked lips and swinging a crowbar from one hand. Movement skittered in the alley, and he swiveled his head toward it. A rat disappeared into a pile of garbage.

When your luck runs out and you're infected, it's not the end of the world. Remember, your closest friends will be the easiest victims when you're hungry.

Sam fell into step on one side of him, Fiona fell into step on the other side. Fiona was munching on a mouthful of meat. Sam kept stealing glances at her, running a hand up and down his chainsaw. Michael growled at the two of them, swinging his crowbar a little harder.

He was hungry too, though.

If you need to open a human skull, you'll need a crowbar and a hammer. Wedge the crowbar in the soft spot at the base of their skull, and give it a few taps. Mmmm delicious brains.

A shadow flickered across a window on the ground level of a building on the corner. The front door was locked. Michael jerked his head toward the corner, and Fi began pressing wiring the last of her explosives under the closest window.

The explosion was small, opening up a hole just big enough for them to crawl through. Screams came from inside, at least three distinct voices. Enough for all of them. As Michael crawled through, he caught his thigh on the ragged edge of concrete, opening a gash in it.

Injuries are inevitable. Always carry a roll of duct tape in your pocket. It'll be good for reattaching fingers and closing holes. Remember, as long as you don't lose the limb, you can duct tape the limb.

Satisfied for another night, the three of them returned to Michael's loft, only stopping once to clear their territory of an intruding zombie. Undead life was good.

THE END


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